Mishyxx's Journals

life as i see it

lifes hard sometimes.
its the people that make it that way though.
think about it.
what causes you to stress? work? why?
your boss? another worker? yup.
school? bad friends? a tacher? exactly.
why do people have body image problems and no self confidence?
because they're afraid of people judging them. other people really
take chunks out of your life.
sometimes i wish i could shut out all the people that make my life hard.
i know people that thrive on bringing others down if they dont feel good.
i hate them.
they're so selfish, its like if they cant enjoy life why the fuck should we?
i know people that make bad choices and then blame it on others.
its so messed up.
i wish i didnt attract these people.
all of the normal people i know live so far away!
i'd drive/fly to go see them everyday if i could because they really do complete me.
i need to get away from these selfish jerks.
and just. live.
they constantly steal my thunder and its so god damn irritating!
i need support, these people do the opposite, when im allowed to drive,
im getting the fuck away and im starting a new life.

i'd like to acknowledge:
ashleelauren
laura
lily
kizza
amy
nikki
audrey
hannabeth
robyn & my mother.

some have helped me through the hardest of times
and others, i just admire you for who you are.

the people i jsut mentioned mean the absolute world to me!!!
xx

a rambled world

a rambled world.

i've had so many thoughts today. too many to even list..
just stepping outside your front door and bang it hits you. reality.
the world is a really scary place..if you dont learn young, you'll never survive.
we live in a world where in some places violence is encouraged.
today when i was walking home from school i saw a 4th grader running after probably a 7th grader yelling out swear words,
i think he was expected to fight him.
unbelievable.
4th grade! how old would he be, like, 9? and no not swear words like shit, hell, bloody...way more advanced than that.
kids are acting twice, some even tripple their age.

i remember when i was young our society was nothing like todays.
it scares me to think about what the world will be in a few years, it really does.
i'm only 15 and the world has changed that much since then..
technology is out of hand, within 10 years the world will evolve around computers.
the enthusiasm about everything is just completely drained.
in todays society for boys to have fun, violence has to be involved somehow..
take a look at the computer games that are out there.
you kill people, you get points. their brains will take that in and they will think thats how to acchieve in life.
to get out what you can reguardless of the concequences.
even for girls, look at the dolls that are made..it really is ridiculous.
they've got the skankiest clothing on and they're made for 4-11 year olds.
these issues HAVE been adressed on the news but no one is even doing anything about it.

everyone is so intrusive towards everyone else,
people cant even dress the way they want anymore without someone giving them a dirty look or shouting things.
i dont even feel safe anymore if im walking alone down my own street.
not once can i go out and not get either a whistle, comment, a hoon in a car, etc.
you cant say you dont just sometimes wish the world was nicer and safer.
we ALL think it.

we spend countless days thinking of the same things,
our brains cold expand so far, yet never do.
our minds are really powerful.
try and stop thinking.
do it.
exactly.
you cant, the mind is too powerful.
there are so many things going on every second of every day, im sure if you stopped and thought about it
you wouldnt be able to list everything you think about..

consequence

The reason i havent been on for a while is because the new AP came out and it has Hanna, Audrey and Paramore in it. I called my mum but she said since i didnt go to school i couldnt have it.
So i hung up and decided to steal money from her purse..
Pretty badass? Hmm.

I've never done that before ever but i was just so excited i just wasnt thinking. Anyway i got to the newsagents and i was feeling pretty good about myself.
The guy said he had it ready for me so i bought it. I had the BIGGEST smile on my face. I got home and i reached for my keys and they werent there!! i went around to the backyard and tried that door but it was locked too. My only choice was to go to where my mum was
which was just down the street. I sat in the car and she realized what i had in my hand. She was pretty pissed haha. In consequence she banned me from the computer untill i started showing "responsibility". I didnt care, i had what i wanted and i was willing to sacrifice anything to get it.

Also, the reason i was off school was because i got sick from this shit we made at school. Chicken Cajatori or something. Im really close to becoming a vegetarian. Im so grossed out by meat its not even funny.

Im gunna miss celebrating Hanna's birthday because of this course my mums making me do. i was gunna go out and eat sushi and cupcakes with Nina in Hanna's honour but now i cant.
Instead Nina's coming over and we're gunna make the cupcakes.
Its better than nothing i supose. This course better be worth it.

Mishy x

first

Hey buzznet

i only joined last week so im pretty new to everything

well. its saturday night and im at home..im usually always out but i got the internet taken away from me on monday and got it back friday and i never really got to organize anything with anyone..i got my phone stolen recently too so i've lost everyones numbers!! i have a new one now though which is good..

you know what i want? a sidekick. and a mac book. like really badly...im gunna get a job and save up. I'd ususally just ask my parents but i have to learn to work for what i want cuz haha im an only child and i've been spoilt all my life. sooo its a big step but i have to eventually become more independant.

thanks for reading

Mishy x